The Proposal
As told by Luke, since he did the dang thing.
For the TL;DR version, read our feature on Philadelphia Magazine!
Photos by our dear friend David Lu
HOW WE MET
I first noticed Ettie in January 2017 at a church retreat. She was wearing this beanie with two words that were partially obscured such that “-ANTA HA-“ were the only visible letters. My initial thought was, “Santa hat?” Only later did I learn it in fact said “Atlanta Hawks” lol. For some reason, I couldn’t stop looking over at her—whether God was shining a beam of light on her or a neon “PICK ME” sign, I don’t know! The next day I learned that she was actually one of the sisters of a guy in my church small group. I had heard of her in the past for her musical exploits, but hadn’t realized that she had moved to Philly to be closer to her family.
After the retreat ended, we both ended up at a mutual friend’s house to hang out and play Steal Scrabble, a game in which you make words with Scrabble tiles and try to steal other opponents’ words by making new words with their tiles. During the game I came up with what I thought was an ironclad word that no one would be able to steal, but just a few turns later, Ettie blindsided me with the steal. That’s when I knew that I had met my match (in more ways than one).
One week later, Ettie posted a story on Instagram of her brewing pourover coffee. Coffee being a favorite hobby of mine, I seized the opportunity to “slide into her DM’s” (Pickup line: “Ooo metal coffee filter! Nice!”). We talked about coffee, Scrabble, music, her design business—really anything—into the night. Day 2, I reached out to her again to keep the conversation going. Day 3, I wasn’t sure whether I was being creepy and/or she was responding to my messages out of mere politeness, so I didn’t reach out. But come mid-afternoon I get a message from Ettie, and I knew I had got ‘er!
We kept talking through Instagram for a few days. After a week of talking strictly on social media platforms, I finally got her phone number. I was out of state at the time, but I asked her out on a date—at a coffee shop, of course—the morning that I got back.
The date nearly fell through. I was landing in New York and needed to catch a train back to Philly, but my flight was so delayed that when I arrived there were no more trains for the rest of the night. I was going to be stuck in New York. Thankfully, my aunt lives nearby, so I called her up late in the night to crash at her place and caught the first bus back to Philly when the sun came up... I was not going to miss this date – and I’m glad I didn’t!
Since our first date, we have explored almost every (decent) coffee shop in Philadelphia together. Ettie could probably fill an entire album of just photos of Luke at coffee shops.
HOW HE ASKED
The Plan
I began scheming in early May, about a month before the proposal. Knowing Ettie’s ~aEsThEtiC~, I definitely wanted a beautiful backdrop, and I definitely wanted to incorporate things she loves into the proposal: Scrabble, coffee, and flowers/greenery.
I could use Scrabble tiles for the table display, but I also had the idea of making giant Scrabble tiles that could be used as signs. I reached out to Peddler Coffee, the site of our first date, to rent out the space for a few hours. I had chosen that location as our first date because I knew that I could be back there someday to propose!
Lastly, I sourced all kinds of greenery to use on the backdrop, the ceiling, the table display - really anywhere I could put it!
Other ideas came to me as planning progressed. I definitely wanted to hang photos we had taken over the course of our relationship. I learned to braid twine and vines that would hang from the ceiling so I could clip the photos to them.
When we first started talking, we asked each other what we would name our coffee shop if we ever opened one. I said I’d want to name mine Sanctum, and Ettie, being the creative that she is, created a faux business card for Sanctum that I still keep in my wallet to this day. I used that card to create a sign that would be taped to the front door of Peddler as she walked up.
I also recreated the mailbox from Pixar’s “Up” for the proposal. Ettie loves this movie so much that her ringtone is the opening scene track. It worked out perfectly since the name “Ettie” is almost identical to “Ellie,” the protagonist’s wife. I tried to stay true to the original design of the mailbox, and ahead of the proposal, I stamped my handprint on the mailbox. I left some space for the other handprint for later.
For the engagement ring, I worked with Lauren Priori, a talented Philadelphia-based jeweler whom Ettie has collaborated with on past projects. I wanted the ring to be perfect, so I bird-dogged the web for a specific stone with my exact specifications and hand delivered it to Lauren a few weeks before the proposal. She created the perfect three-stone oval setting that she got to me two days before the proposal.
I made sure to ask for Ettie's parents’ blessing a few weeks prior to proposing. It was later in the evening when I arrived unannounced, such that her dad had actually already gone to bed when I got there. This seemed kind of important, though, so I humbly requested that her mom wake him up! Thankfully, he was more than happy to wake up to good news.
The Day-Of
I had almost all the materials ready to go, with a few remaining tasks. My sister flew in with customized cookies from Austin. I wanted to get peonies, her favorite flower, for the proposal, but I didn’t realize until then that they are notoriously fickle. Thankfully, we found a few florists in town with fully bloomed peonies in stock.
We arrived two hours early to set up. We hung hooks (painted green to blend with the garland!), and while those took hold, set up the table display. Along the windows we strung up some of the photos, and then we hung up the globe string lights along the ceiling and the exposed brick backwall. One of my main concerns going in was the hooks holding up the lights, but thankfully they stuck.
We then proceeded to tie the braided vines to hang from the ceiling lights, and then clip photos to the braided vines. The garland was placed on the hooks on the brick wall, then we made a sign with the giant scrabble tiles I had made. Everything was in place and I was ready to go.
The Proposal
I told Ettie that I had finished work and had come home, then I notified her sister that she could start walking with Ettie over to “my place.”
On the way, Ettie noticed Peddler and pointed out to her sister that that was where Ettie and I had our first date. As she got closer, she noticed the decorations and wondered “oh they must be having an event.” Finally, she saw the sign of the card that she had made me long ago, and realized, with tears in her eyes, what was going on.
I hid in the back and gave her some time to walk into Peddler and take in the decorations. As our favorite song “Is This Love” by Allen Stone began playing in the background, I walked out to meet her. I told her how I had been planning this for a few weeks, but technically I had been planning this since our first date because I knew this is where I wanted to propose to her.
I told her she was the miracle that God sent me, and that whatever the future had in store for us I wanted to face it with her. I opened the mailbox where I had stashed the ring, got down on one knee, and asked her to marry me. Thankfully she said yes!
Afterwards, her friends and family snuck out from around the corner, holding up more of the giant Scrabble tiles saying “SHE SAID YES!”
One last deed: I needed one more handprint to finish the mailbox. With some red paint I had saved, Ettie lended her right hand to help complete the mailbox, and, the proposal!
Outfit details
Madewell silk dress (sold out, similar here, here, here, and here)
Madewell mules (similar style here)
A.P.C. purse
Hello, I’m Ettie, a graphic designer based in Philadelphia, PA. Welcome to my blog!